The plateau I was standing on at the top of the cliff was fairly large, it was like a giant step on a staircase up the mountain, and the next step was the top. Not wanting to waste anymore time I rushed toward the next slope leading up the mountain and began climbing as fast as I could. I leapt from boulder to boulder all the way up and felt like I was moving so fast that I would reach my goal in no time; however, as I pushed myself faster the summit seemed to approach slower. In my confusion I began to slow down and noticed the pace of my progress slowly returning to normal until I was back at a simple hiking pace. There came a voice again from beneath me somewhere that I could hear, but not within my ears. “You must not rush through your challenges or you may miss something,” it said from somewhere. At this point I noticed something ahead of me slightly off the path I had chosen for myself. I couldn’t tell what it was at first, but as I approached, it became clearer. The red stag I had seen earlier in the woods was standing off the path, and once I recognized it an intense glow emanated from it.
”You would have passed right by me,” the stag said to me in a low rumbling voice that shook the ground, “why are you in such a rush?”
My eyes strained against its brightness and my words were somehow diminished, “I was caught up in the moment, and I wasn’t expecting to see another along the way.”
”Always expect someone, then you will never be surprised,” he replied, “Do you know who I am?”
”You are him,” I replied meekly.
“That is correct, I am he who has always roamed these woods and he who has helped to guide along the way. Stop looking at the ground and gaze upon me, I shall not bring you harm.”
”I’m afraid I can’t because your brilliance burns my eyes.”
”Nonsense! You are as luminous as I am and yet I am able look upon you!”
At this point I looked up once again and noticed that, though he remained just as bright, somehow I was able to look upon him now.
“You say I am as luminous as you, but how can this be? Surely, such a creature as I am cannot shine as brightly as one who has walked eternally in these woods, tamed the mighty nature, and fathered Time,” I asked him feeling slightly confused and totally in awe of this presence before me. His reply was even more shocking than his statement earlier.
“Ha,” he bellowed, “surely the created can not shine brighter than the creator!”
“What do you mean,” I asked even more confused than ever.
“Isn’t it obvious. You are the one who has created me, the luminous being who sparked my existence.”
“I created you? How could I have created you? I am just a man, and you have always walked these woods.”
“How little you understand, but that is why you created me. You made me to understand. You created me to be your guide, to be the reason behind your existence, but you never gave me a name. I am called him only for lack of a better word because you could not make a word to describe me. Do not look so surprised, I am only one of an infinite number of beings created in such a fashion. We exist for you and those of your kind as mediators. We help to cope with a world that you create, to explain the discrepancies, but mostly you and your kind need help through your emotions.”
“My emotions?”
“Look back upon yourself, you have become distant and detached from your emotions. You have forgotten how it feels to feel. This was part of the journey, but not the whole, there is another important part; however, you are not ready for it yet. I cannot show you the end, only the way. Remember that I am only a your creation. I am the things you already know, but are not willing to accept that you know. I am also your limitations because you have made me to be that way. I fathered Time only because you thought you needed him, but I can see him slowly dying in your eyes because you are beginning to see how unnecessary he is.”
“What of nature?”
“She is another matter. She is not a creation of yours. She is the all consuming and we are just a part of her. The beauty she exudes is terrifying, as is her fury, and she is unforgiving. This is not out of malevolence, but more out of indifference. Although she created you and your kind, she is incapable of the emotions. Emotions are an anomaly spawned from the things she created. In this way you are superior to her, and can surpass her. Things will become clearer as you continue this journey. You are not meant to understand everything now, but it will come and you will see the way to surpass her. Now, you must go and continue on your way.”
“Wait, I have more questions,” I cried out, but all in vain because he turned and in a single bound disappeared. Things were now more distorted than ever, and I felt very dizzy. I sat down to compose myself, and slowly came back to my senses. This encounter had given me much to think about, but I had to continue on my journey because I knew that I couldn’t stop now.
His words stuck with me and I knew that I would have to pace myself for the rest of the climb. I wasn’t sure what it was that I would miss along the way (because I thought the goal was the most important aspect of the journey), but I knew that he was not one to be disregarded. The things he had told me were strange and I didn’t know really what to think of them. How was it that I had created him? He was an entity separate from me and not only that he was a different species. Though I couldn’t exactly understand what he had said, it seemed to make sense. It was like when one does a math problem and seems to be blindly plunging into the work, but somehow reaches the end. Or perhaps a better example is language.
For most people speaking their native language is second nature and, for the educated, writing is also of the same status. A person recognizes that certain formations of sentences are odd or just plain wrong, but they cannot always tell you why these sentences are wrong. Most responses come as, “I don’t know why, but it just isn’t right.” These people don’t exactly understand the reasons why a sentence makes sense, but it does nonetheless. This was my situation and with him gone I was left with questions and no answers, but the situation I was in left me with no option except to trust him. A person, such as I am, does not appreciate predicaments like this because I am inquisitive and want to know why I should be doing something before diving headfirst into it. If I cannot see the sense of the result then I am not likely to engage in the activity. There are those who live a spontaneous lifestyle, never planning anything and functioning on a whim, but I am not likely to proceed in such a manner. I appreciate habit and the comforts it brings. Through habit I am able to be productive and live a lifestyle that is accommodating. There are times when it lacks excitement, but I would trade excitement for security and safety.
This was the mentality I have had all my life, until recently that is, until I decided to go out on this adventure and leave everything behind. From what I had found so far, all that routine and comfort had been nothing, but a waste of my life. Like Don Quixote I had spent my time with my nose in books reading about adventure and never embarking on one. Luckily for me, I was not out jousting windmills; instead I was talking to strange men in caves and taking advice from a talking deer. Perhaps I looked like a fool, like Don Quixote, and I was imagining everything, but I had no Sancho to help me. I was in this on my own and had only my senses to trust, hoping they would guide me to whatever end I was seeking.
